Review: I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER
Rating: 3/10
Director: Christopher Columbus
Writer: Larry Doyle
Cast: Hayden Panettiere, Paul Rust, Jack Carpenter
Studio: Twentieth Century-Fox
Christopher Columbus has had an often overlooked, but quality, career as a director. He made Christmas even better with HOME ALONE. He gave us the first two HARRY POTTER movies – both solid efforts that made HARRY POTTER a successful film franchise from its beginning. Columbus even made MRS. DOUBTFIRE, which is the touchdown at the end of the game when you’re already up by ten. Game over, man! Columbus is an above-average director who deserves more credit than he seems to get.
Given Columbus’ past credits you have to wonder what drove him to make I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER, his latest directorial effort. It’s a teen comedy that is very low on laughs, but with an incredibly high awkward (but not in the funny way) factor.
The film starts with the geeky valedictorian, Dennis Cooverman (Paul Rust) giving a speech at his high school graduation, during which he proclaims his love for cheerleader hottie Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere). This leads to Dennis, his best friend Rich (Jack Carpenter), Beth, and her friends Treece and Cammy (Lauren Storm and Lauren London) spending their graduation night together, while avoiding Beth’s coked-up military boyfriend Kevin (Shawn Roberts). Cooverman’s speech, during which he not only makes his personal feelings for Beth clear, but also attacks those that have been cruel to him, garners a few chuckles, but it’s not nearly as hilarious as it could have been. Sadly, despite being only kind of amusing, the protagonist’s declaration that opens I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER is one the film’s most humorous moments.
I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER wants to be bad taste fun, complete with jokes about boner sword-fighting, Cooverman having a poster of Beth over his bed, and (of course) a character having weird nipples (although we only hear about and never see them). The problem is almost every attempt at humor fails in the film, and instead merely makes things weird for the characters and you, as I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER is usually as uncomfortable as dumpster sex. And let me say that if I don’t find your odd humor funny, that is a terrible sign, because I’m the guy that just used the term “dumpster sex” and smiled while writing it.
Things never improve with I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER, as this unfunny teen trash easily becomes the worst film to be directed by Chris Columbus.
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