Rating: 4/10

Writer: Woody Allen
Director: Woody Allen
Cast: Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood, Patricia Clarkson
Studio: Sony Pictures Classic

Back from a four year long European vacation, Woody Allen returns to his home town of New York, the city that has served as the setting for his best and most famous films. The film that takes Woody back to New York is WHATEVER WORKS, which is supposedly based on a script that he wrote in the 1970s – a statement that is supported by the film containing the neurotic/eccentric characters and similar themes found in many of Allen’s classic films. Everything is set up for WHATEVER WORKS to be a triumphant return back to his roots, but unfortunately Allen’s film falls short of its target. It’s clear that Woody Allen wants to make a “Woody Allen film,” but the famous director and screenwriter is just recycling with WHATEVER WORKS and nothing more.

The characters of WHATEVER WORKS are very similar to the ones Allen often gave us in the 70s and 80s, as they are odd and quirky, but they are not at all endearing like those found in ANNIE HALL or MANHATTAN, they are too mean or too dumb to be likable. In WHATEVER WORKS, the protagonist is the cynical Boris Yellnikoff, someone that has the characteristics of the type of character Woody Allen usually plays in his own films, but instead of Allen, it’s Yellnikoff. Who knows for sure why Woody Allen cast Larry David to play the part instead of himself, but I think it might have to do with the fact that, while Yellnikoff has those famous Woody tendencies, he is also quite the pretentious prick. He’s the type of  man who always reminds people of his high IQ and genius and treats those around him like they are idiots. Boris’ ugly side could have been the reason that we see David delivering Boris’ long, harsh, and redundant monologues that severely lack any insight about the terrible condition of the world and its people instead of Allen. It is definitely a big part of why our time spent with Yellnikoff in WHATEVER WORKS is often more unpleasant than amusing.

Another insufferable personality found in WHATEVER WORKS belongs to Melodie St. Ann Celestine, a naive young girl from the South who first meets Boris when begging for some food, then ends up staying with him, and eventually becomes his wife. Melodie is a thin, one-dimensional bumbling caricature, who is an inferior descendant of the young girl character often found in Allen’s films. Evan Rachel Wood plays Melodie and uses an atrocious accent mainly comprised of a large supply of annoying “aww, shucks” smiles. Her performance is as bad as the character is poorly conceived.

WHATEVER WORKS is all about chance, and how it doesn’t really exist, with everything happening for a reason, so we should just make the most of it. The problem is that all the events unravel with the subtlety and profundity of a cheap comic book. Ideas are not intelligently and cleverly brought into fruition, but rather blindly stumble along on the disappointing path Allen has laid out for them. Nothing seems believable, or even remotely conceivable, in WHATEVER WORKS; it is a cheesy skit of a movie whose hokiness keeps us from buying its idea of destiny.

There are a few laugh-out-loud moments in WHATEVER WORKS, like the the humorous interaction between a closeted Southerner and a gay man at a New York bar, but there are far too few moments of amusement to keep this weak reshashing of better films from the same director from being a severe disappointment.