Let me start this week’s critique with two key words: “Augmented Reality.”

I saw the release of the “augmented reality” poster for the sci-schlock flick GAMER (I actually saw the trailer for it the other night when the missus and I finally caught YEAR ONE…which has its very own talking points, but this isn’t the place for it) – I hadn’t heard about this game, er, movie at all prior to viewing its trailer just days before seeing their little marketing gimmick – which is what it is, a gimmick – no, it is not the future of movie promotions or, worse yet, the poster.

Yeah, I know, I talked about “motion posters” before, but that “evolution” at least retains the basic principals of what a movie poster is – of course, I’m sure plenty could be argued for the neato-web-cam toy as achieving the same things that a static 2-dimensional poster does, if not more. This marketing tool might work for the context of the film, but let’s just not get hot and bothered for blinking lights and camera tricks.

Now if it had Richard Dawson as the host, I might think differently…

BROTHERS, GRIM – poster for BROTHERS

Very interesting. Very much so indeed. I think I’d love this poster completely, but I can be pretty particular about certain things that I feel like could have been pushed a little further, especially when just about 98% of everything else is quite superb (I’ll get to the 2% that holding me back later). Is she weird, is she white? Yes. This is stark, almost clinical. Makes me feel just a little uncomfortable, especially since everyone is in some state of undress, and against such a pure, cold white background, spartan typography (you have to love the handling of the credits to exist in the top half of the poster, instead of its usual anchored bottom-dwelling).

Back to that typography, sparse, very sterile as well, but there’s an aberration. Something is just off. Something’s amiss here. In what would be an otherwise perfectly balanced and stacked group, a mere slice is just off kilter. That theme continues with our main characters living in the lower half of this emotional wasteland. There’s tenderness, albeit still detached and lukewarm happening between boy #1 and the girl. The girl who is also off-kilter, sliced as well. Is it her? Is it something she’s done? Something she’s going to do? To boy #2? Even more detached, perhaps just a simple tale of brotherly jealousy? And, like some swords, “there are two sides to every family” says the tag, broken along the girl’s fault line. How far will this rift go?

The poster is certainly intriguing, and raises many questions, but damn it all, invest a little more time in balancing out the lighting across all your characters, especially when you take scenes from the film itself (as opposed to marketing stills or set/wardrobe test shots) and combine them together. Jake is obviously from a different reality than Toby and Nat, just look at the shadows on his face compared to the other two. An overlooked detail like that would even cause me to pause and reconsider my whole opinion on this piece, and entertain the notion that maybe this was, in fact, a lazy composition (yet not without some considerable thought involved) – take it from me, a weak execution can really suck the life out of even the strongest of concepts. Nevertheless, from what I’m taking away here, I’m expecting quite a tense, heavy, and grim tale from these brothers.

KING OF THE HILL – new character poster for INGLORIOUS BASTERDS

Nothing much to say here about this new entry in the ever-growing roster of BASTERD one-sheets, except that this man really wants his scalps. You know, it’s actually kind of fun to see Mr. Pitt-Jolie having some fun himself as everyone’s soon-to-be-favorite Basterd-leader, Lt. Aldo Raine, and this poster is setting him up once again as what he’s proving more and more to be, a nazi-killin’ smug sunnuva bitch. Awesome.

So here’s our hero, present. Pile of Nazi corpses, roger that. Strike a pose. That’s a wrap.

Looking forward to the rest of the gang. Bring it on.

SUMMER WARDROBE – (500) DAYS OF SUMMER UK poster

So, are the Brit-kids really into t-shirt graphics as of late? In my opinion, some of the more sophisticated film posters come from our English cousins across the pond, yet here, I’m a little at a loss. I’m just not getting it. Why would the main character of any movie be wearing a shirt of the movie he’s a character in? Especially when the t-shirt graphics contain shots of himself, right? This is confounding. Really? What’s the point here? Again, I wonder, does this hold a certain regionally-based meaning? Blokes wearing t-shirts with themselves on ‘em, eh? I just don’t know. I was never aware of the latest British fashions. Maybe next season.

STUDENT BODY – JENNIFER’S BODY poster

Well, well, well. What do we have here? A textbook example of exploiting the latest female flavor of the moment in all her scrumptious eye-candy glory to reel in male viewers and their reluctant girlfriends to the screen gem it’s promoting. Whew. Get the picture? That’s about it. Nothing to it. How appropriate. Hell yes?

Stay foxy, Megan.

YELLOW FEVER – poster for I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS

Yowzer! Attack of the Jim Carrey, Hollywood’s most powerful comedy leading man! Just look at this poster, you simply cannot. I’m digging the posterized hyper-color, bringing a subtle retro feeling, further fueled by Carrey’s character wardrobe. Could be early 60s, could be mid-90s, could be today (or the early twenty-oughts, if the use of that House Industries font for the title is indicative of the era they’re setting), but either way, this feller is quite obviously the pencil neck as the bold yellow screams. One of Carrey’s weapons is being wildly intense, like a yellow laser beam, piercing every eye that crosses him, and you can’t look away. He’s truly a master of his art. This poster is taking advantage of that strength. Am I gilding the lily here too much? I might be, but I believe that the bold nature of this piece is attempting to promise the same degree of oomph via the film. What’s it about? (I think I’ve read something about this one somewhere, and I just remember it being an odd plot.) Cigarettes? Death? A dark comedy? The yellowness of a chain smoker gone awry? We shall see. Until the release, smoke ’em if you got ’em.

NO SUBTLETY ALLOWED – poster for DISTRICT 9

I saw the trailer for this film awhile back, and found it very intriguing. I love the documentary-style approach, the journalistic story-telling that it appears to portray, and the all-around realism that this movie is giving evidence of. Yet, all the collateral pieces I’m seeing, posters, promo-materials, etc., don’t quite match that same level of realism and sophistication that I’m already expecting (hoping for) from this movie. If you watch the trailer for this one, you sort of feel sorry for the aliens (spoilers you say? Nah, they’re not keeping much secret here, in fact, that’s the problem), when I see this poster, I feel sorry for the audience. It’s posters like this that I strongly feel have been crafted to appeal to the masses, as opposed to those who may otherwise truly appreciate this movie for the message it seems to be conveying (a study in human behavior, human policies and politics, social concerns of an other-worldly nature, etc.). Here, this poster is just saying in a tractor-pull voice, “Oh yeah! Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Come check out the giant alien spaceship hover over the human city! Will they attack? You won’t know unless you come find out!!! And don’t forget the alien pen, surrounded by razor sharp barbed wire! Watch out for those warning signs, NO HUMANS ALLOWED! So come on down to DISTRICT 9, where you are not welcome here! Free balloons for the kids!” Gag me with a funnel cake. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a poster that’s going to be as sophisticated as the trailer, and can only hope that the trailer is a true representation of the film, and proving that this particular poster isn’t. (How about some posters from the fictional world of DISTRICT 9 itself, like propaganda messages or district rules or regulations? I mean we’ve seen the “humans only” signs here and there, neat indeed, but not serious enough, especially when they’re trying to harken to more serious times of actual racial segregation in history. Of course, things of that nature would have to be handled with great delicacy and subtlety.)

BRIGHT-EYED & BUSHY-TAILED – teaser poster for ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKQUEL

Boys will be boys. This truth is a constant in the universe, therefore we do not need to be reminded of the hijinks that will always ensue when you get these mischievous little rodents running amok under one roof. So thanks, fellas, for lint-rolling your nice hoodies and being nice little gentlemen for the camera. I’ll admit, I own the first Alvin, etc. on DVD. I actually thought it was a decently made reboot of an old franchise. They stayed true to the essence of the characters while still updating them just a pinch. Jason Lee could have been stronger, but David Cross made up for it. But I digress. The point is, I’m happy to see that they’re not beating us over the head with their big letter A the second time around. Just show us the boys in all their infinite cuteness and that’s it. No crazy Photoshop montage of a wrecked house, or the three of them stuffed in a tiny remote-controlled bi-plane crashing through a window, or re-enacting some other blockbuster scene or poster (although, that could very-well happen yet, meh), but instead, just some strong primary colors and their fuzzy smiling faces. They’re giving me everything I need to know: this is a second flick with these little acorn-eating a cappella-singing brothers. We know they will be cute, they will get in trouble, and they will burrow into your heart again. No dumbing down necessary (or over-promising). I might actually give this alleged “squeakquel” a chance. Putting the rat poison away for now.