Theatrical Review: SALT
Rating: 2/5
Writer: Kurt Wimmer
Director: Phillip Noyce
Cast: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Daniel Olbrychski
Studio: Columbia Pictures
The Angelina Jolie vehicle, SALT, should thank its lucky borsch (can beet soup be lucky? Just got with it) and toast some copious amounts of vodka to sexy real-life Russian spy Anna Chapman for all that free publicity as of late, because this flick needs all the breaks it can get. Phillip Noyce’s take on a sexy spy thriller is rarely any of those things – it’s not sexy, spying is reduced to consistently by-the-numbers double-crossing, and any and all thrills are negated by a script that wavers between laughably improbable and insultingly ludicrous. Who is Salt? I’m a little more concerned with who gave SALT the greenlight.
Jolie’s Evelyn Salt is a CIA operative that we very quickly learn has given just about her all in service to her country. After being captured and tortured in North Korea two years prior, Salt is more than ready to switch to a desk jockey position within the agency. See, Salt’s got a lovable German husband who (somehow?) helped free her from her North Korean captors. No, he’s not in the CIA. No, he’s not some slick German operative. He doesn’t even work for the government. He’s a spider doc! An arachnologist! Yes, he was the one who headed up the Evelyn Salt rescue operation! Just go with it! This is not even the most ridiculous plotline in SALT.
In any case, old Ev wants out, so it’s really unfortunate that a man, claiming to be a Russian spy, has shown up at her CIA office to reveal all manner of secrets. It’s really good to know that you can simply waltz into a heavily guarded and shrouded CIA field office, announce who you are, and get an audience with the entire CIA team dedicated solely to your country. Very comforting. And, as nearly every SALT trailer has shown us, when the Ruskie announces that there is an embedded Russian spy in the CIA’s midst, he names her – Evelyn Salt. Plot twist!
Except, it’s not. For anyone even remotely paying attention, the supposed great question of SALT is answered within the film’s first twenty or so minutes. Kurt Wimmer’s script neglects to build any tension regarding Salt’s identity, and the first act is only given any redeeming value by a highly improbable chase scene that is still damn good fun to watch. By the time that chase has wrapped, and we’ve been shunted right into what can best be described as “Salt-on-the-run-mode.” Run pack? Check. Disguises? Check. Explosives and guns? Check. The overwhelming feeling we’ve seen this all before? Check.
By the time the real twists start coming, it’s long past mental check-out time. SALT fails to be engaging and grows ever more tiring, particularly as it continually aims to mine basic spy flick tropes. There is the unshakable sense that SALT is simply sloppy. That old Russian spy? The story he presents to Salt and the rest of the CIA flunkies (including a wasted Chiwetel Ejiofor and a slow-build Liev Schreiber) is an intriguing one, but one that is given short-shrift and not nearly enough weight to move it from “interesting” to “smart.” Over the course of the film, it loses its potential and ends up being just shy of laughable. The same can be said for the flimsy flashback scenes of the courtship between Evelyn and that lovable German husband, Mike. They scenes are presented with the glowing sheen that typically accompanies lesser productions, and seem willfully placed just to distract from how boring everything else is.
SALT has some inventive and interesting action scenes that continue to prove that Jolie is believable and overwhelmingly capable in this capacity. Director Noyce does what he can to intrigue audiences with the limited script. It’s unfortunate that the rest of the film doesn’t live up to its leading lady and its potentially interesting plotline. SALT is, at best, frequently absurd and, at worst, a spy flick misfire aimed squarely for late night forgotten viewings.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ40WlshNwU[/youtube]
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