James Wallace

by: James Wallace
October 6th, 2009


Rating: 1/5

Writer/Director: Tom Six
Cast: Dieter Laser, Akihiro Kitamura, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie
Studio: Six Entertainment

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE tells the horrifying tale of two American tourists (Ashley C. Williams and Ashlynn Yennie) on vacation in Germany that happen to knock on the wrong door after their car breaks down in the woods. The door, and home, belongs to the crazed Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser), a retired surgeon who dreams of surgically connecting three people to form a human centipede. Unfortunately for the two girls, and a Japanese man (Akihiro Kitamura), Dr. Heiter seems to be the leading surgeon in his field of ass-to-mouth reverse Siamese surgery.

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE is one of those films that looks to achieve what films like HOSTEL and others of the torture porn genre never quite did. True shock, awe, and disgust. To show the human psyche at its worst and most inhuman. Yet, where films of that horror subgenre seem to possibly have a point buried in there somewhere, THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE does not. Instead, we are given 90 minutes of something intended to shock and awe, but that instead just becomes pointless and vulgar for the sake of being vulgar.

Do not misunderstand, for I am not one to be easily turned off by macabre. Quite the opposite, in fact. It is not the idea of the film that does not work, yet that it is presented within such a long time frame. After 90 minutes of watching a crazed surgeon (who is really the only enjoyable performance or quality about the film) interact with two crying girls and a man yelling in Japanese that are attached from orifice to orifice, you reach the end only to ask yourself what the point of the film was. Furthermore, you do not necessarily care about the characters enough to give a damn what is happening to them during said 90 minutes, no matter how horrible the situation may be and how helpless they are.

If THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE were to work as a film, it would have been better suited for a 10 minute short. Unfortunately for us, we get 80 extra minutes to revel in its repulsive story. And if that was not enough, this is only the first sequence, as THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (FULL SEQUENCE) is due out sometime in the near future. Let's just hope someone involved knows how to use a scalpel, so as to cut apart instead of sew together this abhorrent piece of A2M cinema.

Oh, and in case you're wondering...yes, there is in fact a pooping scene.

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  • mg2041

    For it to be a centipede it has to have 100 legs.

    3 Humans = 12 limbs

    Thats hardly 100, we don’t even get that from the movie…

  • Jason Surber

    mg2041 has a point. The human centipede would have to be 25 people in length for it to be a true centipede.  Although we might have just given away the third movie. This was one of those train wreck movies, where you don’t want to watch but you have to just so you know why you didn’t want to watch the movie. I had a coworker at DISH tell me I had to see this movie, I think he was trying to get me to gross out of something odd like that. I figured I would check My blockbuster movie pass, might as well use it for the $10 a month I pay for it. I found the first one streaming online, but not the second, so I ordered the sequel through the mail and watched the first one streaming. I do have to to say that Dieter Laser played the perfect mad German scientist, but that was the only bright spot of the movie. Well not having to listen to those girls scream anymore except in a form of muffled noises was a bonus as well. there was a stark difference in the second one, where the first was clinical in nature, everything was clean and there wasn’t a large amount of blood. The second was dark, dirty, and bloodier. Not to mention it had a lack of speaking roles other then screams and moans. I told that same coworker that the first was bad compares to the second though and he should really watch it; he hasn’t talked to me since then.

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