Last House On The Left

Daniel Pittman

by: Daniel Pittman
March 13th, 2009

Rating: 1/2

I’ve always had a propensity for horror movies, for as long as I can remember liking them, I’ve sought out the worst of the worst. So, it’s no surprise that Wes Craven’s first flick THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT caught my attention early on.  Now, in 2009, his hard work has come to be mocked and disrespected in a true modern fashion.

There is something about Mari, and it’s THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT. Mari is a seventeen year old swimmer (wtf?) who is joining her picturesque family on a summer stay at their lake house which you guessed it, is the last house on the left (Tell me, studios, is that supposed to be CAPITALIZED like you ask the other movie titles be? Sort of ambiguous isn’t it?).  Upon Mari and her parents’ arrival, Mari, being the wild and crazy 17 year old bursting with teeny angst heads into town to see her friend Paige whom is on the prowl for the evil plant.   Paige and Mari end up heading to Justin’s hotel who we soon find out is the son of a recently escaped convict.

In an effort to maintain Hollywood’s stay of leaving creativity dead on the table, LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT is another common example of taking something good, and turning it bad. It was a pleasant suprise however seeing Aaron Paul as Francis, the brother of the escapee, Krug.  You may remember Aaron from the line, “In the Guinness Book of World Records, man… Under the raddest fuckin’ dude alive.”  Let it simmer. It’ll come to you.  Paul and his band of outsiders are the only part of the film worth buying.

Unlike the original, the redux relies on gore and sex (pedophilic at that) to sell seats.  The film’s centerpiece repeatedly takes her clothes off while we are subjected to up close shots of her underweared parts, only to learn about two thirds of the way into the film that she’s only supposed to be 17. Something’s just not right about that, am I right? 

The photography in LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT is interesting at least, as is the original soundtrack.  At one point, during Mari’s daytime swim that I remember taking note of it’s badassness and looking around to see if anyone else was nodding along with me.

Overall LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT was entertaining, stressful, and gross. Although I just spent the last 380 or so words ripping it apart, I’d still recommend it.  These three descriptives are exactly what you want in a modern horror movie anyway. At least there wasn’t some scary little boy overusing a black crayon and some weird embodying ghost crawling backwards out of a TV someone just drug out from the bottom of a lake… Or a well… Or whatever. 

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  • BluRustur

    See, I felt almost the opposite all the way through. I dug on the movie a lot. Especially the “pedophilic” sex as you call it. In this case, I didn’t necessarily find it titillating, although my male mind is trained to react to images like that with a sense of titillation. Here, that emotional trigger was undermined by the rape scene, and in essence, I was implicated in this as an audience member.

    Where I felt the film lacked was the very last scene. Don’t worry, no spoilers. But up to that point I felt like Iliades had done a good job of implicating the audience in the grueling violence. Setting us up to want it and delivering it, but not in a way that was enjoyable. Instead, he delivered it in a raw, gritty way that exposed the horrific nature of violence and revenge (which was the point of the original). At least until that last scene where it got silly.

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