1. The Brave One

Starring:
Jodie Foster, Terrence Howard, Nicky Katt, and Naveen Andrews
Directed by:
Neil Jordan
This is by far one of director Neil Jordan’s most mainstream movies. Mr. Jordan is the talented hand behind such art house gems as Crying Game and The Good Thief.
Jodie Foster stars in this vigilante justice film about a woman who hunts down and murders the men who brutally killed her lover.
The Brave One asks the same question at the center of all revenge films. When is it ok to take in the law in your hands? Despite a tired theme, The Brave One does have a strong sense of suspense and the quality acting by everyone involved is enough to make this an entertaining but by no means a great film.

2. Across The Universe

Starring:
Evan Rachel Wood, Jim Sturges, and Joe Anderson
Directed by:
Julie Taymor
Set in the 1960’s, dock worker Jude (Sturges) travels to America in search of his father. Once there, Jude meets and falls in love a beautiful teenager named Lucy (Wood), but the relationship is soon disrupted by the changing spirit of the 60’s.
Across the Universe is inspired by the music and soul of the Beatles. The film is very ambitious and at times, beautiful piece of work. The musical numbers (all involving Beatles songs) are elaborate and mesmerizing. However, the love story is as standard and boring, as the film’s style is impressive. Across the Universe contains many movie clichés, but is defiantly worth a look due to its great production values and musical numbers.

These following films are also being released but have not been seen by anyone from Gordon and the Whale. Oops!
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford,
Elizabeth: The Golden Age,
and Snow Buddies

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Poor Jessica Alba. I'm willing to bet she thought she had a The Ring/Grudge hit on her hands. If I was her, I would fire my agent ASAP. I'm very aware the movie hit number two this weekend, but I have no doubts in my mind it will have a nasty fall off the bandwagon come week two. When you rely on extremely loud sounds to scare your audience, you know you're in a bit of a bind.

NO THANKS.

Rent and watch the original. It scared the freckles off my face.

Here;s the trailer for M. Night Shyamalan's new film, The Happening. It's a paranoid thriller about a family on the run from a natural crisis that presents a large-scale threat to humanity starring Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, and John Leguizamo.

Reminds me of this Japanese film called Suicide Club. Which was really violet and sucked. This teaser looks awesome and I believe in Shyamalan can have another hit on his hands. Yes, I know his last film Lady in the Water was embarrassing to watch, but don't forget the solid good ones he did. Someone does need to tell him to heavily think when doing taglines. "We've Sensed It. We've Seen The Signs. Now... It's Happening." I mean, Seriously? Watch the trailer below and tell me what you think!

The Happening opens Friday, June 13! FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH!!!!!

Rating: 5/10

Director, Writer: Jeff Lowell
Cast: Eva Longoria, Paul Rudd, Lake Bell
Studio: New Line Cinema

I'm still new to writing reviews for movies. It's a lot easier if I really liked the movie. I could ramble on for hours about everything. The great script, the unique cinematography. The actors chemistry. With all these things, I could ramble for hours. But what do I do if I see something I didn't like, and had nothing to nice to say? I don't like trash talking because no matter how bad the film is, somebody on that set busted their ass to get it completed and into theaters.

When asked what I thought about OVER HER DEAD BODY, I could only come up with five words: Thank God for Paul Rudd! If he hadn't taken part in this film, I probably would have been way too frustrated to write anything at all. But I'm going to try:

Chick Flick (as taken from Urban Dictionary)

1. A film that indulges in the hopes and dreams of women and/or girls. A film that has a happy, fuzzy, ridiculously unrealistic ending.
2. A genre of movies that has been formed all on it's own combining the genres of Romance, Drama, and Comedy. These movies are filled with cliche after cliche, yet so irresistable for the female population to go out and see the next version. Each contains the same plot with the Character names changed. Producers see sales of these movies soar when the members of the female population are eithe PMSing or just plain MSing. Must have Kleenex box in hand.
3. A movie a guy goes to with the sole purpose of making out.

Whatever your preference, OVER HER DEAD BODY is one of those movies you take your girlfriend to see because last weekend it was your pick, and she had to sit through RAMBO.

The only thing that annoyed me to no end was the lack of good special effects. I'm sure the budget wasn't epic, but seriously, if you're going to attempt at "ooh/ahhing" people with forms of CGI, make it look good. One example of this is the scene when Kate (Longoria) won't leave Ashley's (Bell) medicine cabinet. Oh wait, and the scene when she's hovering over them while they are making out. Mirror flip anyone?

Like I said, I don't like trashing movies so I'm going to leave it at that. If you have to go see this movie with your girlfriend, just know that you are scoring major points in her book and if you actually squeeze out a few laughs (which, surprisingly, I did) you can double those points. It's not a bad deal I guess.

PS If you're the girlfriend, just know that your man loved the movie and loves you even more. (points tripled)

Strange Wilderness is the latest release from Adam Sandler’s production company, Happy Madison. In the film Steve Zahn plays the well-meaning TV host Peter Gaulke, who is trying to restore his deceased Father’s nature show to the level of success it previously enjoyed. The movie contains Sandler film veterans Allen Covert (the lead in Grandma’s Boy) and Peter Dante. Jonah Hill, who played the quick witted and determined Seth in Superbad, is also part of the fictional show’s crew. Justin Long, who played minor but amusing roles in the comedies Walk Hard and The Break Up is also along for the ride, and is clearly having a great time playing the show’s pot-head camera man. Considering all the comedic talent involved in Strange Wilderness, one would figure at worst the film would be a moderately entertaining comedy. However, even for a stoner comedy Strange Wilderness seems half backed, containing very few genuine laughs.
The film’s premise is as a simple as you might expect. After Peter’s Boss, played by Jeff Garlin, yet another funny actor who is not funny in this film, tells Peter he is about to cancel the show Peter decides to track down and film Big Foot to gain some much needed ratings and save the show.
The whole movie feels as though a group of friends got high, got a video camera, wrote a very thin plot summary, and then decided to try and make a movie. Most film scripts are over a hundred pages, and I’m really curious to find out if Strange Wilderness’ script is even over fifteen pages. The actors often resort to just yelling their unfunny lines in a sad attempt to make their lines somewhat humorous. Except in the case of Jonah Hill, who just uses a weak accent that doesn’t sound like it belongs to any particular region. With the exception of Justin Long, the actors seem just as lazy as the script in attempting to generate laughs. However, the film is not without comical moments entirely. The voiceovers of the animals in their habitat always prove to enjoyable, and are truly the best part of the film. Unfortunately, the voiceovers make up about ten percent of the film, so the audience has a lot of downtime to prepare for their next laughs.
The film’s ending pretty much sums up the whole movie. No one says anything particularly funny, then the actors start laughing and that’s it. The scene looks like something that belongs in the gag reel. It appears as if the filmmakers and actors are saying, "we didn’t take this thing seriously at all and we can’t believe this is actually getting released in theaters."

Some people are a bit unclear on what's going on this Wednesday night, so here is some info.

Gordon and the Whale Dot Com is throwing a movie party for Colin Farrell's (I had to google his name to finally spell it right) new film, In Bruges. Take note- it's NOT a screening. That's the following night. What it will be though is: two cool dudes playing good music all night long, one hip photographer taking your blemish free photo, cheap drinks (thanks Rubber Gloves!), and three nerdy film guys giving you passes, beanies, posters, and shirts that say "My best friend went to fucking Bruges, and all I got was this fucking shirt." We will also be having a contest with the winners getting reserved passes for the screening of In Bruges Thursday, February 7th (NEXT DAY).

This is all new to us, and we're very excited to be doing this. If all goes whale, we will be doing things like this a lot more. All you have to do is show up.

I also almost forgot to mention two more very important things. There is NO COVER for this event. I'll restate that. NO COVER FOR THIS EVENT.

Oh, and Chipotle is bringing food. All FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The photo above states why Hannah Montana topped the charts over the weekend. It only has a two week run (ten bucks says the keep it going), and IT'S IN 3D. I honestly don't understand the hype with this, by then again, I'm no longer twelve. But in my twelve year old self defense, I would not pay $15 to see this movie. Especially if it's just a girl singing songs in 3D. We have U2 3D for that.

It doesn't surprise me that The Eye hit at number two. The youth of America seem to have a knack for shitty horror/thriller films. ZZZzzzzzzzzzz. It won't be on the tops next week, I can guarantee it.

Juno is still in the tops (yay!) along with 27 Dresses, but Meet The Spartans? Seriously? It was bad enough that it beat out Rambo last weekend for the top spot considering all the marketing Rambo put in, but still in the top five in it's second week? C'mon!

New comers Over Her Dead Body and Strange Wilderness didn't even break top 10. If you saw these this weekend, you know why.

Results (Feb. 1-3):

Source- boxofficemojo.com

You DO know who Charlie Kaufman is, right? Yes, you do. He is the genius with Adaptation, Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Human Nature under his screenwriting belt.

IonCinema has an exclusive first look photo of his directorial debut film Synecdoch, New York. It stars Philip Seymour Hoffman as Caden, a theater director who attempts to create a life-size replica of New York city inside a warehouse for his new play. This project was first supposed to be under the hands of his longtime collaborator, Spike Jonze, but took it under his wing after Spike chose to take on Where the Wild Things Are. It's scheduled release is late this year. The film also stars Catherine Keener, Michelle Williams, Samantha Morton and Tilda Swinton.

The Eye


Written by:
Sebastian Gutierrez (2008 screenplay)
Jo Jo Yuet-chun Hui (2002 original)
Oxide Pang Chun (2002 original)
Danny Pang (2002 original)

Directed by:
David Moreau
Xavier Palud

Starring:
Jessica Alba

Plot synopsis: In this 2008 Hollywood remake of a Japanese film of the same (Jian Gui) name stars Jessica Alba as Sydney Wells, a blind violinist since birth who gets the great fortune of a corneal transplant that allows her to see again. Now adjusting to her new visual life, she starts seeing things other people cant. Dum dum dum!

I have to first state that I saw the original in theaters when I was 19 or 20, and man, one scene in that stuck in my mind forever. My friends would tease me about it for weeks because I literally hoped out of my seat when the terror began. JUST in this one scene.
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Most of my friends know I hate Sean Penn (think back to Oscar night, circa Lost in Translation/Mystic River) and I haven't been a fan of Van Sant's work since Good Will Hunting. But I'm not going to say these two don't have any talent and I'm not excited about this film. That would be a lie.

Milk stars Sean Penn as Harvey Milk, California's first openly gay elected official, who was shot down by fellow worker Dan White.

/film has gotten ahold of what looks like a fake flyer of Sean as Milk, and some paparazzi shots of Emile Hirsch in that cool 70's gear (check out them specs!). Even sporting a wig. And yes, that's Sean on the left all blue jeaned up. Emile plays a gay activist backing Harvey Milk. After seeing Into the Wild (I know, I know), I'll forever be a fan of Mr. Hirsch. Thanks for the doop Academy!

PS Emile Hirsch is such a badass. Look at them Chucks!